V

I miss Murray. He should still be here. He was such an amazing guy. If he was still around, I think I would be a different person. I would see things differently. I used to be such a happy person. And now it feels like things get me down much easier. Not that people know, because hiding my feelings is what I am truly good at. Before he died, I didn't cry. Now I am scared of losing people. I think that'd my biggest fear. I don't think I can deal with losing someone else. It broke me once and I'm still not ok. If it happens again, I don't know if I'll heal.

I still get weird every time I listen to Hilltop Hoods. He introduced me to them. My stomach turns when they come on. It fucking sucks.