You'll go n I’ll be okay, I can dream the rest away Its just a little touch of fate, it will be okay

^ I've been obsessed with this song for a while now. It is by Lisa Mittchel - Neopolitan Dreams.

I've neglected this blog for a while. It seems to happen more often than not.

A lot has happened since I last blogged. A lot has changed.

I had my graduation a while ago. It wasn't as long and boring as I feared it would be. But I have to say, I was freaking out when I had to walk on the stage to get my diploma. But I didn't trip, so it is all good.
After that, I went to France with my family (parents, sister, cousin+husband and aunt+uncle). It was good. Paris is amazing. People dress so nicely. They make an effort. I wish people here would make an effort. There, no matter how old or young you are, you make an effort. Every time I see some older person on the street that just seems to not care about themselves any more, I feel a bit sad. And I wish I won't turn out like that.
Anyway, the rest of France was good too. We went to loads of small town and we saw lots of castles and war related things. I've always been against war and going to those places, where D-day happened, where so many people were killed, where hundreds of thousands of guys are buried, a whole generation, it just gets to you. We went to the WWI cemetery of the Americans who died in France. It was huge.
We also went to a few peace museums. They showed movies from the war, where people were just being killed left right and centre. There were photos of people everywhere, there were movies, there were letters of officers during WWII in the concentration camps, who wrote to their wives saying how many people they were killing, how hard it was in the beginning and how much easier it got. I think the most shocking thing I saw in that museum was this little film playing. It was about WWII, when the Americans got to the concentration camps and couldn't believe the neighbouring towns knew nothing about it. They went to those town and forced those people to go see what was happening under their noses. In the film, it shows the people walking through the people who have just been found in those camps. The sick and the dead. What got to me was the fact that the people walking past had 3 types of reactions: they would look away (most women did), they would look at the dead people and seem very shocked or, worst of all, a lot of them seemed unaffected, as if they were walking down a normal street. It really got to me. The whole idea of the holocaust has always troubled me. And seeing it that closely was just surreal...

I think that, because I've read so much about all of this and know of so much bad stuff that people are capable of, I now get a lot of happiness from small things. I didn't use to. It started after I was forced to learn about all of this in my German classes here in Australia. I guess those classes were good for something after all. Now, when I see someone smiling, I can't help but smile. When I give my seat to an older person on the bus I get a good feeling inside me. When I volunteer at Oxfam or donate plasma, I feel like I am getting somewhere. I don't think I'll ever be able to find a job that makes me feel that good. I would rather work a job I hate for a few hours a week to make my money to live and use the rest of my time to do things that I actually enjoy which I don't get paid for. I think that one person can make a very big difference. And I plan to make a difference in someone's life someday.

I feel inspired. Even though I don't have the support I need from people around me. Even though my life is slowly falling into pieces. I will make a difference one day. You'll see.