The butterfly

Holidays. A week is already gone. A whole week. That is quite a long time considering i only have 3 weeks of holidays until next semester starts. A new semester. Meaning i am exactly half way through my degree. In a year and a half, if i don't decide to study another course, i'll be done with uni. A year and a half is nothing! How am i supposed to know what i'm gonna do with my life? How am i supposed to survive in the real world out there? Where people take you seriously, where you have to get a job, make money, buy a house. It is starting to hit me. I don't wanna grow up. I don't wanna finish uni. Studying is so much easier than working. I don't even know what i wanna do with my life. How can i make a decision that will change the rest of my life? Ok, maybe i've already made that decision by choosing the course i chose to do at uni. But when i finish it, i'll have to choose a job. Choose a career. I won't be told what to do anymore. Having to go out there and figure it all out by myself scares the crap out of me. What if it doesn't work? What if i chose the wrong course? What if i actually suck at what i'm doing? That could happen. Plus, do you have any idea how many different paths i can follow? And at the same time, how little options i have? It is hell scary. I guess it is just natural, right? It is something we have to do. Everyone goes through this, i won't be any different.

The butterfly photo was taken a few days ago, at carrickalinga beach. I went to the beach with Josh in the morning. It was freezing. We stayed there for a few minutes and it started rainning so we decided to go back to the house. On the way i spotted this butterfly on the floor, just sitting there while the wind blew on its wings. It was one of those "things always get better" moments. It just made me smile so i took some photos of it. I put it up here now because butterflies aren't born like that. It shows how things change. And some things change to become something better. There is always hope.