Start fresh?

The beginning of a year is always about starting fresh, doing things differently. I don't think this year will be any better than last year. I doubt there will be less drama. I doubt people will be nicer. I doubt I will get any better. I doubt I will be happy again. I don't think I will ever be happy again. It sucks but I don't wanna fight it anymore. I need to realise that I don't need other people to be happy. I can be happy on my own. Being alone does not make me lonely. I can be happy by myself. I can do things. I can make things work. I don't need anyone's approval. The only person who needs to be ok with my decisions is me. Other people's opinions don't matter. What you do with your life will NOT have an impact on how I live my life.

I can do this. I can make myself happy. I can prove that I am not the selfish one around. You wanna mess up with my life? You wanna try and bring me down with you? Go ahead. Give it your best shot. I'm pretty sure I have some stage of depression so there is not much you can do. Your words will not bring me down. I'm better than that.

2012 will be a year about making decisions that will make me happy. It doesn't matter how it affects you. Because this year I will do things for me. I will be healthier for me. I will be happier for me. Why? Because I have always gone out of my way to be there for people and when I need someone, I can never find anyone. Always listening to other people's problems, never the one being listened to.

I fucking diserve this and you better believe it.