It was a saturday night. The worst saturday night of my life. In the middle of the night, god knows what time, Ben rings me. I'm barely awake when I pick up the phone. The conversation goes something like this...
Hey. It's me.
Hi. What's going on?
Murray had a car crash.
What? - at this point I am completly out of it, half asleep.
He took his mum's car without her knowing. And he crashed into a tree.
What?
*silence*
Where are you?
I'm at the tree. He died, Veronica. Murray is dead.
What do you mean he's dead?
He died on the crash.
I didn't know what to think. I didn't know what do do. I had no reaction. I just sat there as Ben started to cry on the phone. I don't remember much after that. All I know is I rang Rugiyya straight away and she didn't know what to say. I cried like I've never cried before. For hours. In the morning, I had a shift volunteering at Oxfam and I didn't want to not go. I remember when I woke up early, I told dad and he started swearing. He couldn't believe it. I remember mum wasn't home, I think she was in Brazil. And Lu was at some friend's house. So I went to Oxfam.
That Sunday was the worst shift I've ever done. I didn't tell anyone. I was a zombie the whole time. I don't even know how I managed to act nice to costumers. I remember Lu came in during my shift, I think dad told her what happened. She hugged me and I pushed her away because I was almost crying again. It was awful. I felt like I had to be strong and couldn't let anyone know how much it hurt.
At the end of my shift, Ben came to pick me up with Rugiyya and Wes. We went to where it all happened. The whole way there I didn't say a word. I just sat there. When we got to the tree, as soon as everyone started getting out of the car I completly broke down. I couldn't stop crying. I couldn't even get out of the car. Ben tried to get me out, but I just couldn't do it. But the Lewi, Murray's brother, came to the car. He stood in front of my door and said "Don't I even get a hug?". I got up straight away and hugged him. I was crying so much I was shaking. I'll never forget what he said to me during that hug... "I know you and Murray had your differences and you were always fighting. But he has always thought very higly of you. He really liked you."
The days after that are one big blur in my mind. I don't remember anything. It's like they didn't happen. I know I went to uni, I know I talked to people about this, but I was so numb.
This happened 2 and a half years ago. I'm still not over it. It still hurts. I don't think I've ever told anyone this story before. I don't really know why I am writing it here to be honest.
I miss him. I hadn't talked to him properly in weeks when this happened. But he was such an awesome person.
Hey. It's me.
Hi. What's going on?
Murray had a car crash.
What? - at this point I am completly out of it, half asleep.
He took his mum's car without her knowing. And he crashed into a tree.
What?
*silence*
Where are you?
I'm at the tree. He died, Veronica. Murray is dead.
What do you mean he's dead?
He died on the crash.
I didn't know what to think. I didn't know what do do. I had no reaction. I just sat there as Ben started to cry on the phone. I don't remember much after that. All I know is I rang Rugiyya straight away and she didn't know what to say. I cried like I've never cried before. For hours. In the morning, I had a shift volunteering at Oxfam and I didn't want to not go. I remember when I woke up early, I told dad and he started swearing. He couldn't believe it. I remember mum wasn't home, I think she was in Brazil. And Lu was at some friend's house. So I went to Oxfam.
That Sunday was the worst shift I've ever done. I didn't tell anyone. I was a zombie the whole time. I don't even know how I managed to act nice to costumers. I remember Lu came in during my shift, I think dad told her what happened. She hugged me and I pushed her away because I was almost crying again. It was awful. I felt like I had to be strong and couldn't let anyone know how much it hurt.
At the end of my shift, Ben came to pick me up with Rugiyya and Wes. We went to where it all happened. The whole way there I didn't say a word. I just sat there. When we got to the tree, as soon as everyone started getting out of the car I completly broke down. I couldn't stop crying. I couldn't even get out of the car. Ben tried to get me out, but I just couldn't do it. But the Lewi, Murray's brother, came to the car. He stood in front of my door and said "Don't I even get a hug?". I got up straight away and hugged him. I was crying so much I was shaking. I'll never forget what he said to me during that hug... "I know you and Murray had your differences and you were always fighting. But he has always thought very higly of you. He really liked you."
The days after that are one big blur in my mind. I don't remember anything. It's like they didn't happen. I know I went to uni, I know I talked to people about this, but I was so numb.
This happened 2 and a half years ago. I'm still not over it. It still hurts. I don't think I've ever told anyone this story before. I don't really know why I am writing it here to be honest.
I miss him. I hadn't talked to him properly in weeks when this happened. But he was such an awesome person.
1 comment:
I think that was very brave of you to write that.
In year 10 I was on school holidays, id been camping at Yorke peninsula so Id had no reception. I got a call on the way home from a girl at school. She told me that a girl from my home room had drowned in her pool. When you're that age these things just make no sense, you don't really understand the concept of someone you know dying. I was sad but I didn't cry.
Until I got to the funeral a few days later, as I sat there I remembered all the times she had been nice to me, how she had come and chatted to me when I was alone. So I started crying non stop through the whole service, I could barely stand when it came time to put a flower on the coffin. When the service was over people were hugging each other and I held people and couldn't let go, I was just sobbing uncontrollably.
Over time you forget about these things, but they are always there in the back of your mind. The knowledge that someone close to you could be gone any day. It's so tragic that these things have to happen to people so young. I thought that since you had shared something so personal on here that someone else should do the same.
Post a Comment