This is my last year at uni. LAST year. I only have about 8 months to go and then I graduate. That means I finish uni. I stop studying. I don't remember my life before I started studying. I don't know what will happen once I finish.
I started this degree thinking I could get somewhere, I could learn something that would make me happy and that I would be very good at. But that never happened. I haven't learnt much to be honest. I haven't specialised in anything. There's not one thing I am truly passionate about on my degree. Yes I do enjoy animation. Yes I do enjoy 3D modelling. And yes I do enjoy editing in general. But I am not very good in any of those things. I am ok at it, not great. I am not even that passionate about it. It is not something I want to do for the rest of my life. It is too time consuming, it annoys me too much at times. I am too much of a perfectionist to be able to do this. So that's when I hit a wall.
My plan B here is to become a police officer. When and if I get in, I will have to train for a year and then be on parole for another year. After that, I can work in the office, do something media related, something I actually would enjoy. I can do such things as catch criminals online or even reproduce a crime scene (3D modelling). In case it all fails, I can still work as a "normal" police officer. In he mean time, if I don't enjoy it as much as I want to, I can still look around for something else.
But this is scary. It freaks me out just to think that this is the last year. I don't want to study any more but at the same time, I don't want to go out there in the real world.
Someone said to me today that I shouldn't give up on my dreams just yet. That this course can be useful and that I can find a job related to it. But then I thought, I don't have a dream. And that is just sad.
On another note, for one of my projects this year we are making an animation. It is so very exciting! The story I will keep as a secret for now but this time I think it will actually work :)
I started this degree thinking I could get somewhere, I could learn something that would make me happy and that I would be very good at. But that never happened. I haven't learnt much to be honest. I haven't specialised in anything. There's not one thing I am truly passionate about on my degree. Yes I do enjoy animation. Yes I do enjoy 3D modelling. And yes I do enjoy editing in general. But I am not very good in any of those things. I am ok at it, not great. I am not even that passionate about it. It is not something I want to do for the rest of my life. It is too time consuming, it annoys me too much at times. I am too much of a perfectionist to be able to do this. So that's when I hit a wall.
My plan B here is to become a police officer. When and if I get in, I will have to train for a year and then be on parole for another year. After that, I can work in the office, do something media related, something I actually would enjoy. I can do such things as catch criminals online or even reproduce a crime scene (3D modelling). In case it all fails, I can still work as a "normal" police officer. In he mean time, if I don't enjoy it as much as I want to, I can still look around for something else.
But this is scary. It freaks me out just to think that this is the last year. I don't want to study any more but at the same time, I don't want to go out there in the real world.
Someone said to me today that I shouldn't give up on my dreams just yet. That this course can be useful and that I can find a job related to it. But then I thought, I don't have a dream. And that is just sad.
On another note, for one of my projects this year we are making an animation. It is so very exciting! The story I will keep as a secret for now but this time I think it will actually work :)
1 comment:
I know exactly what you mean. I thought that even by doing a general degree like Media/ Arts I'd find something I wanted to do for the rest of my life. But I haven't. I still have next year... but I am no closer to having any idea of what to do. I want to take time off and travel. But it's good that you have a backup plan!
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