heaps of hate

i hate people talking behind my back. specially if it is about me.
i hate people telling other people about their feelings but not saying anything to me. never telling me what they are thinking.
i hate being out of the loop.
i hate knowing things i am not meant to know.
i hate not being able to talk to the people really close to me about certain things.
i hate knowing that they talk to other people about those things, but not to me.
i hate how hypocrite people really close to me are.
i hate how certain people will talk to people that they bitch about to me about how things are going, about how they are feeling and go to them for help, but not come to me.
i hate messed up relationships.
i hate half truths.
i hate knowing that there were others.
i hate thinking.
i hate over thinking.
i hate being able to figure out all this stuff and not be able to say anything to people.
i hate being smart enough to know what is going on around me, telling people, them not believing me and me having to say in the end 'i told you so'.
i hate to say i told you so.
i hate most humans.

i wish things were simple. that best friends would always be best friends. that friends would always be able to cheer you up. that relationships were for real. that people were honest and up front. that everyone was able to tell you how they feel. or how they felt about someone. that people could be capable of talking about past relationships with their current relationship. that everything was easy. that things would just... flow. which they don't fucking do and they never fucking have.