Stuck

I feel like i'm stuck in time. Maybe not in time, but in my life in general. I'm not moving forward and i'm not moving backwards either. It feels weird. I have 4 weeks left of uni to go, yet i have a lot to catch up on. I don't feel like doing any of that work. Most of it is going down the drain anyway. That animation I was working on? Yeah, that's totally fucked. For real, it is. It has become something completly out of my hands, something I am not involved with at all and it makes me SO angry! This was meant to be my last project, something I would spend a lot of time on and actually get things done. But nooooo. It got taken away from me (and everyone who was originally involved too) and now it is just an animation that is being made to get hits, not experience. It is meant to get sold, to give them reputation. Who cares about what 4 people at uni do, right? They need to get people from the outside, people who FUCKING HAVE REAL JOBS OUT THERE, who have experience, who know what they are doing. So they just decide to ignore us oh so stupid uni students who just wanted to do this for fun, to learn something new, to GET some fucking experience. We basically got USED so they could get the money, because if you applied, saying you were in a group with people who have jobs you probably wouldn't get it. That's what the people giving us the money told us. That a big part of the reason we got it is because we are at uni. But guess what! It blew up in their faces. I just hope this blows up in everyones faces now. Because i don't give a shit anymore. I am sick of trying to please them and knowing that they will change EVERY little thing i do and make it AGAIN and just pretend i did. It fucking sucks.



*takes deep breath*

This could've meant a lot to me you know. If this actually worked the way it was ORIGINALLY planned to work, I could have a pretty good portfolio to show at the end of it all.
FUCKING HELL.
Seriously.


The good news is, I think i'm going to TAFE next year. I wanna do photography and i wanna do graphics design and advertising.

But right now, i am really over this whole project and I hope it just fails in general. At least i'll have something to show at the end of it. Even if it isn't what the producers wanted.




It's good to let it all out.

Get things rolling

Holidays start next week. And I have SO MUCH to catch up it isn't even funny. I don't even know if I'll have enough time (or motivations really) to finish it all. Don't get me wrong, I really enjoy what I am doing at Uni this semester, but it is very time consuming. Specially wehn you have a teacher that isn't too good at explaining and assumes you know a heck of a lot that you really don't, because he never thought you and just says he thought someone else did (WTF?!).
But everything will be ok, I know it will :)

I am starting a traineeships at subway soon(ish). From what I've been told, not much will change. But the good news is, I will have to get at least 15 hours every week. So hooray for that! Considering I've only been getting around 5, sometimes 10 a week, this will be pretty good :D

The other day I watched "Up", that Pixar animated movie. OMG it is so so soooo adorable! No kidding! The kid is just so fat and cute! The story is great, the animation is breath-taking. Sort of like Wall-e, a very well made movie. My dream is to be able to work with something like that. Imagine, to have your name in those credits. *sigh* I counted how many animators were involved... 64. JUST to animate, not ncluding modelling, lighting and everything else. That's quite impressive, really. It's like each person animated just over 1 minute of the movie.

I shall go back to procrastinating now ;)