People never change

It constantly annoys me to see what people are capable of. No matter how much i try to have faith in humanity, to find the right people to be around, it never seems to work. No one takes anything seriously. Specially when it comes to other people's feelings. I don't see how so many people are capable of hurting other people that they supposely care about. At the same time, i don't know how people don't tell each other how they truly feel. When person A comes up to me and tries to tell me something about person B that is important but no one should know, i just feel like pushing A away. I don't wanna know about B. Not because i don't care about that person, but because i don't wanna get involved. I won't be able to say anything to B, and if i say what i truly think to A about B's situation, it might change the way that person sees B. Why the hell would i want that? So because of this, i push people away. People that try and share their problems with me. Which are not even their problems to start off with. And this way, they end up getting hurt because aparently i don't care about them. Now seriously, what the hell am i meant to do?! In the end, someone is gonna get hurt. I try my best to make people understand that i do that for them, so they can have their own opinions. But no one understands. No one gives a crap. I have tried to listen to what people have to say, and not say anything. That doesn't work, because they get annoyed because i am not giving them my opinion, i am not helping, nothing changed. I have tried giving them my HONEST opinion, that didn't work either, it came back to bite me and ruin things for good. I don't wanna lie, tell them what they wanna hear, not what i think. That is just not me. Hence why i keep things to myself. Drama is no something i want around me to be completly honest. Only on TV. When it gets too real, i don't wanna be involved.

I do what i can not to hurt people i truly care about. Unlike a lot of people i know. I don't think there's anything worse than cheating. Cheating in a test, is just lying to yourself. Cheating to get something, is just pointless in the end, because you don't truly deserve it. Now cheating on someone is a whole new level of disrespect. I don't see the point. I don't know how people can do it. Over and over and over and over again. They hurt the people they are with, the people they suposely care oh so much about, just for a one night thing? And if they actualy like that person they were with that day, why on earth would they respect them, knowing they are with someone who cheated on a boyfriend/girlfriend to be with them. If it happened once, who says it won't happen again? This has always been a very dilcate topic for me. I spent a very long time talking about this with a few people last night. I don't believe i have ever been cheated on. And i never have someone very close to me ceating/being cheated on. But i know it happens. I feel very strongly about this. I don't forgive and i don't forget. Cheating isn't just hurting someone. Cheating is hurting someone on purpose. You KNOW you are doing it. I know most people don't agree with me. They think that's a bit harsh and i should take it easier, that every situation is different. That if you truly love someone, you will overcome the cheating, you will forgive them. I strongly believe i wouldn't. I know i will only know when it happens to me (let's hope it never does), But considering i am a very stubborn person, i think i will be sticking with this for good.

Holidays?!

Next week = chaos. Monday: Volunteering at oxfam. Tuesday: SLEEPING. Wed-Sat: working all day (ugh). Also, wed night, there's herbie's party. n friday night there's liz's party. and also friday night there is me going out with rugiyya to celebrate the end of exams. I am so gonna be dead. But awesome i guess.


I'm so tired. work is very tiring. I am also freaking out a bit because i don't know if i passed all my subjects. Ugh.


I've got some whinging to do, but i'll leave it to another time.

... tu tu

i have an exams tomorrow
i don't know if i'm ready for it or not
i think i'll find out when it gets to 1.15pm tomorrow
ugh
after that, i am free
until march


that is all i wanted to say

fucked up people

"LONDON - THE British government has ordered an urgent nationwide review of child protection measures in the wake of the death of a 17-month-old boy at the hands of his mother, her boyfriend and another man.

All three were convicted on Tuesday at the Old Bailey of causing or allowing the death of the child, known as Baby P, who was used as a 'punchbag' and suffered a broken back and more than 50 horrific injuries over an eight-month period.

Baby P was shaven-headed and covered in bruises and scabs when he died in a dirty, flea-ridden house in August last year. His fingernails and the tips of his fingers had been torn off and he had been hit so hard in the face that one of his teeth was found in his colon.

Despite being on the child protection register for nine months, and being visited by social workers or health visitors twice a week, the baby 'did not pass the threshold to be taken into care', lawyers told the court. [...]

Bruises, scabs and other infections were covered up with chocolate smears and nappy cream. The social workers were unaware that a violent boyfriend had moved into the house and believed that the baby was a victim of neglect, not abuse. Rather than take him into care, they assigned more support staff.[...]

The paediatric pathologist who examined Baby P after his death said he had never seen such damage done to a child.[...]

The three defendants will be sentenced on Dec 15, and face up to 14 years in prison."

source

I don't even know what to say here. What is wrong with people??? Bashing children to death, kicking puppies to death and bashing poor flamingos for fun?? Are you kidding me?? Why the hell aren't those people in jail for life? Or even better, why aren't we using all those bullets that are used to kill innocent people to actually kill these soulless criminals who never deserved to be born in the first place? What takes someone to make such things? I can understand why you would kill for money (of course i don't approve, but it makes a BIT of sense) but killing your own kid?? Bashing the poor kid to death??? Killing animals for no good reason??? ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?? I do not understand how those people exist. It just doesn't make any sense to me. What kind of childhood did those people have to becomes such heartless assholes with no freaking soul?? It makes me so angry. I seriously just want to kill these people. They disgust me. Things like this give me nightmares. The other day i read about a poor puppy being killed (here) and i could not fall asleep at night. I am not kidding here. People kill other adults for no good reason and now turning to babies and animals, who just can't defend themselves??? This is world is just too fucked up. It seriously feels like there is no coming back, we are all doomed and that's that. People just get worst. Everyone said, after Hitler, that that would never happen again. BULLSHIT. People have no sense of anything. It just pisses me off so much. Everyone is just selfish. They have to be happy, and that's it. They don't give a crap about anyone else. All i wanna do is make a difference, do something that will truly change someone's life. I am not saying i donate hundreds of dollars to charity, that i spend all my time trying to help others. But at least i have respect for other people. I volunteer, i help people, i say what i thin, i respect people around me. I know i could be better, but i am pretty sure i am doing better than most people. And that is just sad, considering i don't even do hat much.

I wish

"I wish that without me your heart would break,
I wish that without me you'd be spending the rest of your nights awake.
I wish that without me you couldn't eat,
I wish I was the last thing on your mind before you went to sleep."



I wish things could be different.
I wish people would be different.
I wish situations would be better.
I wish thoughts would stop haunting me at night.
I wish i knew what was going on.
I wish i knew how i feel.
I wish i could feel things.
I wish i could get over things.
I wish i could move on.
I wish i could fogive.
I wish i could forget.
I wish everything was just simple.
I wish people could just get along.
I wish people would help each other.
I wish people would stop being selfish.
I wish the world was a better place.
I wish i could change things.
I wish i could change the world.
I wish i could make a difference.
I wish i could understand.
I just wish...

New

So i got season 4 of lost. Believe it or not, i watched 11 episodes in a row! no kidding! and then got the second part (only 3 episodes) and watched those on the weekend. such a good show! but i should just not watch it, wait until it all comes out on DVD (by all i mean up to the season finale. season 7 or whatever) and rent all of them at once and watch them. because it all just gets soooo confusing!

Anyway, i got 'the it crowd' season 2 from Alex today. yay. My bet is, no one who reads this has heard of this tv show. but it is soooo geeky! it is just great! I recommend it if you have a geeky side ;)

Holidays start soon. I only have 1 assignment left to do (due tomorrow), one class on wednesday and an exam next tuesday. and then i am DONE. It feels funny to think this is the end of my second year at uni. I mean, if i don't do honours, i only have 1 year to go before i have to get a proper job. If i do do honours, i am half way there. Scary.

I've been feeling really creative in the past few weeks. I completly changed my room, as said in the last post. I keep adding things to it. Random things. I think these holidays will be very productive when it comes to making my bedroom look good. And random of course.

I have also been shopping a lot. I think having a job brings that out on me. I like having my own money and not having to worry about how much i spend. I have nothing to save for right now, so i just spend whatever i feel like. I have been buying a lot of sweets. I found this candy shop which is just amazing! I don't think my dentist will like that tho... Oh well :P

I think this is random enough for now. I shall go and watch the it crowd ;)


and just for fun

Lost

OMG Lost season 4 is out on DVD!!! So so so excited! I went to blockbuster to rent it and someone has it but it is due to be returned TOMORROW! hoooray! So if they do return it tomorrow (the guy said people tend to return TV series whenever they feel like really) i shall spend thursday (and wednesday night) watching lost. I'm jumping around here! For those who have never watched it (SHAME!) you should watch it. I got the 1st season on DVD. But go rent it. Very addictive.

Anyway, today i renovated my room. I also made a few things for my room. I made hanging things for hair stuff and a little stand for my rings. I also made a collage of stuff i've found around. It is up on my wall now. I would take photos and put it up here, but that is too much effort you see...

I shall go now and look at lolcats (if you have never been there, go check it out. it is really cute and funny)